


This feeling...

by ladymdc



Series: 606 | 707 [12]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Brotherly Love, Character Study, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, Feels, Fictober 2019, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, MC is an OC, Mild Smut, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Wordcount: 100
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-11-15 08:18:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20863115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymdc/pseuds/ladymdc
Summary: ...I can't even describe it.[a small collection of the moments that matter most presented in 100-word drabbles; one for each day of fictober 2019, all from Saeyoung's POV.]





	1. Ring

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt list:  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ring [n]: a small circular band, typically of precious metal and often set with one or more gemstones, worn on a finger as an ornament or a token of marriage, engagement, or authority.

He sinks back down into the bed and tries not to wake her. 

He fails.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

Olivia shifts into his arms, and Saeyoung slides his thumb along her jaw as her lips brush against his. He never imagined he could know someone with such slow intimacy.

She curls up tightly against him, idly playing at the ring now situated on his left hand. 

“I love you,” she tells him, her breath whispering across his skin. 

“I love you too.”

It is just a ring, but it means that he is real and that he is wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, here’s my [606 | 707 Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/miracook/playlist/0tfAdBX6L5u3xFdqXQUbn5?si=cR2kSof1RBG23UL1-0vI9A) for anyone who would like to check it out. It's inspo for the series, and things that may be still unwritten & you can find Olivia’s face claim: [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A1b_wv5acoOlebleSAOjgsoLlH8zh9vs/view?usp=sharing) & [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XEOKweC_6NWJYoiJQhsu5y_HurBNuKi-/view?usp=sharing) ❤️


	2. Mindless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mindless [adj]: acting or done without justification or concern for the consequences.

When she first enters his life, he finds her interest in him fundamentally incomprehensible. 

She is light. 

He is dark. 

Her presence illuminates the world around him. 

It slowly continues, like the process of osmosis, until it feels like the source has shifted somehow. He can see shadows gathering around her, growing into something huge and contradictory. He doesn’t know how to stop it, and he hates himself for trying because it makes everything worse.

But Olivia shows him the truth of it all. Wrapped in her arms, Saeyoung learns she simply needs him as much as he needs her.


	3. Bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bait [n]: an allurement; a thing intended to tempt or entice.

She has awakened a hunger in him. The weight of desire. And he has spent countless hours exploring her body.

He has traced invisible constellations across her skin; mapped and measured exactly how she fits in his hands. Now, how he feels inside her and around her is as familiar as the beat of his own heart.

One night while she’s cooking dinner, Saeyoung walks up behind her until his clothes brush against hers. He simply slides his fingers up the side of her throat. When Olivia looks over her shoulder at him, she is no longer quite so composed. 


	4. Freeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> freeze [v]: become suddenly motionless or paralyzed with fear or shock

He cannot say how long he’s been sitting on the floor when Olivia finds him. She was smiling when she came into the bathroom, but now it’s gone. 

“The test. I saw it in the trash can.”

There’s a brief pause.

“I was trying to decide how to tell you. I thought you’d be happy.”

His mouth quirks sadly. “I am… but I don’t know how to be a father.” 

She sits beside him. “You’re better than anyone. You’ll be an amazing father.”

Saeyoung holds her impossibly close, knowing he may not believe in himself, but he believes in her.


	5. Build

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> build [v]: (1) construct (something, typically something large) by putting parts or material together over a period of time. (2) increase the size, intensity, or extent of.

“Not too much longer,” he says wistfully, then kisses her. 

She’s smiling; he can feel the curve of her lips under his own. Suddenly, her palm caresses the front of his jeans, sending shudders of pleasure through him.

“Close enough to christen,” she murmurs.

At the moment, it sounds like a marvelous idea. He eagerly takes Olivia apart under his hands, his body, twice, in their unfinished home. It is not until later that night that he wishes he waited. As she undresses to shower, Saeyoung discovers a trail of small bruises along her spine from the concrete slab floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw an opportunity to get ahead before I inevitably fall behind & I took it.


	6. Husky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> husky [v]: (of a voice or utterance) sounding low-pitched and slightly hoarse.

“Livy kitty. I think you’ve played long enough.” His voice is low, coming from the back of his throat so that it sounds rough. 

Olivia smirks faintly, but says nothing; she just stares at him. It’s distracting to look at her as she kneels between his legs. 

Bare. 

Not touching him anymore. 

His gaze keeps dropping, lingering, and then he looks up, automatically testing the restraints holding him compliant to her whims.

Then she moves. Her thighs bracket his hips as she sits astride him. When she finally sinks down his length, the relieved sigh that leaves Saeyoung is gravelly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently need to go write some smut because some of these are T H I R S T Y. 
> 
> **sweats**


	7. Enchanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enchanted [adj]: placed under a spell; bewitched.

Some days the universe threatens to drag him under like a black hole he cannot escape from.

She doesn’t ask why; she never asks. Olivia simply knows and reaches for him. He leans into her embrace, resting his head against her chest. Her hand skims along his jaw, then into his hair, where her fingers idly card through it. 

The weight of everything subsides, and his arms wrapped around her middle, loosen.

She presses a kiss to his crown. 

How Saeyoung has survived without her, he doesn’t know. But he knows this: that she loves him, and it is everything. 


	8. Frail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frail [adj]: easily damaged or broken; fragile or insubstantial.

He always thought he wasn’t meant to be happy. To have the love of an amazing woman feels surreal like he was cut out of one reality and dropped into another.

It isn’t a dream; it is real. 

Her hand is warm and entwined with his.

And yet there’s an edge of paranoia he cannot shake. Something is going to go wrong. Something always does. Then he would plunge back into the cold darkness. 

But Saeyoung cannot turn back from it, and he does not want to. 

He holds Olivia tighter. 

Thin ice is at least something to stand on.


	9. Swing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> swing [v]: shift or cause to shift from one opinion, mood, or state of affairs to another

She glances away. The air around her abruptly grows cold. 

He recognizes the shift. 

Something has occurred to her. Struck her. 

Without thinking, he reaches over and takes the hand closest to him. Her left hand. And he runs his thumb over the ring there.

“My mum and dad, they would have made great grandparents.” Her mouth curves into a tight, wistful smile. “And my brother…” 

Suddenly, Olivia looks grief-stricken, and Saeyoung feels a wave of guilt that he cannot take this from her. He can only be there and help her carry the weight of everything she has lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rip my feelings*


	10. Pattern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pattern [v]: give a regular or intelligible form to

He cannot imagine his life without her, but certain words remain unspoken. He has thought them thousands of times, felt them with every breath until they are almost as real as the body that sleeps in his arms.

His fingers write them on her skin, over and over. 

This alone is more than he could have ever imagined.

When he wakes the next morning, sunlight streams through the window, warming the bedding. Saeyoung feels Olivia tracing familiar patterns of her own along his arm. He sighs, confident he knows the answer to the question he will ask her soon enough.


	11. Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... we all know what snow is, but to remain consistent...
> 
> snow [n]: atmospheric water vapor frozen into ice crystals and falling in light white flakes or lying on the ground as a white layer.

It snows mid-December. It is beautiful. It blankets their world in white, but it won’t last long, it never does, so they go outside to enjoy it before it disappears. 

Olivia's hair is bespeckled with snowflakes, and every breath rises like a cloud. Her cheeks and lips turn almost rosy. Meeting her eyes is a mistake because it forces his mind blank of any thought except for how impossibly blue they are. 

They somehow burn brighter in the frozen air.

The fire in her gaze spreads through his body, and Saeyoung is suddenly a star on the verge of collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a smol vacation & foresee my writing time stalling out, so once again I tried to get ahead.


	12. Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again... we all know what a dragon is, but consistency...
> 
> dragon [n]: a mythical monster like a giant reptile

The Iron Throne looms above him. 

He raises his eyes at the exact moment she looks down on him. In her pale silks and mother of pearl crown, she seems too beautiful for this world, too beautiful to be his. 

She is fire; he is ice. 

Together, there is balance. 

Saeyoung flourishes his fur-trimmed cloak as he bends the knee. “You shall always have my… sword at your disposal, my Queen.” 

Her expression doesn’t brighten or change, for he has done as required.

It’s only when Saeran walks in and right back out that the corner of Olivia’s mouth twitches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days I will get TT far enough along to actually write this scene in full...


	13. Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ash [n]: (1) the powdery residue left after the burning of a substance (2) the remains of something destroyed; ruins.

The truth reshapes him into a creature that feels like everything he hates. It ravages the little he has left before he regains control. 

He fixes what he can because it is the right thing to do. 

Then he searches, no matter how long the odds. 

Days become weeks. 

Weeks become years. 

“I couldn’t do this without you,” he tells her when it feels as if he’s turning to lead. 

“We’ll find him.”

Saeyoung pretends to be soothed. He pretends he believes Olivia won’t leave him too, that in the end, he won’t be left with only dust and ash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to keep these vague enough to just **exist**, but some slot into a specific route or personal fic (like Another Story/[Thump. Thump.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17994386/chapters/42508343) here) Hopefully they still read alright when that occurs. *shrug*


	14. Overgrown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> overgrown [adj]: grown too large or beyond its normal size

She sighs sweetly, then fingers ghost across his cheekbone before moving up to take root his hair, eliciting from him a moan that reverberates into her and sends shivers through her body. 

He continues to kiss her as he would her mouth. Long, languid strokes of his tongue and soft drags of his lips. He is mesmerized and more than a little in love with how her fingers attentively slip through his hair. 

“I’m so close,” Olivia whispers, her fingers curling possessively into the chaotic locks. 

Saeyoung gives a shuddering gasp. 

_ I’m never cutting my hair again, _ he thinks.  _ Never.  _


	15. Legend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> legend [n]: (1) a person or thing that inspires legends (2) the subject of a legend

He touches his thumb to the corner of her mouth in the same perfect way he had the morning he realized she was his, and it rips his heart in two.

“Don’t do this to me,” she says, voice breaking. 

“I’ll be fine,” he lies without a moment’s hesitation. “Legends never die.” 

“This isn’t a joke. You can’t leave me behind.” Then Olivia kisses him, and he feels it again. The beginnings of something that could be eternal if he only allowed it.

Saeyoung crushes her against his chest. His hands shaking as he holds her.

“You’re right, I can’t.”


	16. Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wild [adj]: (1) not subject to restraint or regulation (2) emotionally overcome (3) marked by turbulent agitation

Eyes he’s always known are locked onto his own. They are the eyes he’s always loved.

“You did this to us,” Saeran says, looking away. “This is your fault.”

And then he is gone.

He is gone, and a piece of Saeyoung goes with him. 

He is gone, and Saeyoung wants to scream.

He jolts awake, heart pounding painfully, and is met with Olivia’s concern. 

“It was just a nightmare,” Saeyoung murmurs.

She nods, smiles even, but something quiet and mournful lurks underneath.

His life is zero-sum, and he knows she will never be quite the same because of it.


	17. Ornament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ornament [n]: a thing used to make something look more attractive but usually having no practical purpose, especially a small object such as a figurine.

He sits on the sofa, and Olivia is at his side. 

“Here,” she says, and hands over a little, needle felted porg. A companion to the rocket that hangs from his rearview mirror. 

The penguin-like creature is already small, but it’s somehow even smaller now that he’s holding it. 

“Traditions are part of Christmas, and I thought this would be a nice one to start with.” 

Saeyoung nods and feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. 

The scattered lights on the tree look almost like stars. Unfamiliar, but beautiful nonetheless, just like the world he ended up on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this does tie directly into TT & to clarify for those who haven't read/don't care to read it: Olivia made him a little needle felted rocketship as a gift for their first Christmas together.


	18. Misfit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> misfit [n]: a person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way

He feels the way he must have before 707 or Luciel ever existed. 

The darkness in his mind no longer fights the light. Instead, it greets the light like an old friend, happy to be seen, happy to be shared.

He cannot say when it started, or when he finally realized, but he can pretend he has never been anybody else.

Outside of Olivia, nobody will ever know.

The night before Jaehee opens her bakery, he celebrates the occasion by secretly installing a door chime that makes Wookie noises, and he has never been so pleased to be only Saeyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For how simple this one should have been, I really struggled with it, so... *there was an attempt*


	19. Sling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sling [n]: a pouch or frame for carrying a baby, supported by a strap around the neck or shoulders.

Everything has led up to this moment. He has practiced countless times with Sir Grouchy, the stuffed bear that looks permanently pissed off. 

Within moments, Gi’s tiny body is securely anchored against his chest, and it soothes her almost instantaneously. On the sofa, her mother continues to sleep, pale and lovely, as if nothing has happened. His intention to let Olivia rest as long as humanly possible seems a success. 

Saeran quirks an eyebrow. “I’m almost impressed.”

Saeyoung winks and presses a delicate kiss against his daughter’s head, then his heart stutters violently from the sheer  _ completeness _ of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to plan wayyyyy in the future for TT to write this one, but at least this project seems to be helping with that fic's outline 😅


	20. Tread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tread [v]: to walk or proceed along
> 
> tread [n]: (1) the sound of treading (2) an act or instance of treading; step

She’s only a few steps behind him, he can feel her there, and he is taken aback if only for an instant. 

There’s another footstep, an intentionally audible one this time, then her arms are wrapped around him.

He reaches up to grip the forearm across his chest. “I’m sorry.”

The words can only say so much when he is sorry for so many things.

“Don’t be,” she says simply. 

He pulls Olivia into his lap and buries his face into the crook of her neck. Saeyoung breathes her in and remembers he is not alone in this.

Not anymore. 


	21. Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> treasure [n]: a very valuable object

He’s just peeked around the corner to check the layout of the gathering when Saeran hisses at him.

“What are you doing?”

Grey, stringy hairs fall from his eyes as Saeyoung looks up at him. “We is looking for our precious.”

“This is hardly the occasion to indulge your eccentricities,” Jaehee whispers frantically.

“Is everything—” Olivia blinks, then grins beautifully. “You’re late.”

_ Mine.  _

_ Mine.  _

_ Mine.  _

Saeyoung feels it like a heartbeat. 

“It is difficult to makes security believe we is other guests of honor.”

_ Mine. To have and to hold. _

“I can’t imagine why,” his future wife says. “Nice loincloth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one will ever be able to convince me that Saeyoung wouldn't do this at his own engagement party.


	22. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghost [n]: (1) an apparition of a dead person which is believed to appear or become manifest to the living, typically as a nebulous image (2) a faint trace of something

The parents who wished he’d never been born haunt his dreams. He’s a shadow with no name and two. And he rouses like the hand shaking him wants mainly because he doesn’t want to relive what happened next. 

“What an idiot,” his other half mutters, and Saeyoung startles awake. 

It’s easier to feign calmness than explain. 

“That is Lord Idiot to you,” he says with aristocratic smugness. 

Saeran rolls his eyes, a trace of happiness on his lips. “Just get out of this stupid ass throne, Lord Idiot, and go to bed.”

Saeyoung blinks then laughs and does just that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Saeyoung’s Game of Kings’ throne is a prized possession, just something so ridiculous that he’s so proud to own.


	23. Ancient

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ancient [adj]: showing or feeling signs of age or wear.

She is just waking up. Her hair is disastrous like she walked through a hurricane to get here and half-assedly put it in a bun to fix it. 

She smiles when she sees him, too tired to be anything other than content. But then her expression shifts as he begins to devour a green smoothie and lean turkey slices on an egg white omelet. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Something hurt,” he says, gesturing vaguely at his torso. “I should take better care of myself.”

Shaking her head, Olivia walks over. Saeyoung smooths his hands along her heavy, swollen stomach and kisses her.


	24. Dizzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dizzy [adj]: having or involving a sensation of spinning around and losing one's balance.

A shiver of pleasure travels up his spine as he laces his fingers into the hair at her temple. She has beautiful hair, thicker and softer than he ever could have imagined. 

He slides his fingers through it down to her waist, and suddenly her face is even closer. 

Just centimeters away.

She shifts and their noses brush, then he tilts her face upward so their lips can finally meet.

It feels like the first time he has dared kiss her, not the thousandth, and that such a feeling is still possible after years together leaves him unsteady once again.


	25. Tasty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tasty [adj]: (1) (of food) having a pleasant, distinct flavor (2) (informal, British) very attractive or appealing.

It’s impossible to say why the night before crops up in his mind, but suddenly she’s beneath him, bare and blushing from the filthy things he whispered in her ear. 

Saeyoung adores her blush. It compliments her complexion well. 

“Mmmm. This is the best bulgogi I’ve ever had,” he says. “You’re a phenomenal cook.”

A lovely shade of pink begins to stain her cheeks. “Thank you.” 

“You look beautiful today. I love it when you wear white. I can’t wait to marry you.” 

“Likewise, but please stop. I know what you’re doing,” Olivia whines, covering her face, and Saeran chuckles.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bulgogi: A dish of marinated beef often grilled with garlic and sliced onions. It's usually wrapped in lettuce and traditionally eaten with ssamjang (a thick, red spicy paste).


	26. Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dark [n]: (1) the absence of light in a place (2) nightfall
> 
> dark [adj]: (of a period of time or situation) characterized by tragedy, unhappiness, or unpleasantness.

Saeyoung leans against the headboard, watching the sky shift from orange to violet, then indigo until the sun finally sets. The stars shine as they always do, but he can feel it, how the darkness has changed.

The room is now bathed in it, and it is cast in sharper relief now that Olivia is beside him. 

And yet, it feels like everything is possible. It is all going to happen, and there is so much of it. 

All of it good. 

His life has been defined by darkness, but at least he is no longer afraid of the light.


	27. Coat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coat [n]: an outer garment worn outdoors, having sleeves and typically extending below the hips
> 
> coat [v]: provide with a layer or covering of something; apply a coat to.

He stills when he sees her. It swallows her, his jacket.

“Wait,” he says, then crosses the room in three long strides. Carefully, he moves it aside and teases a rosy peak with the pad of his thumb. 

“Keep it on.” His voice is almost a command, and the way her eyes glitter lets him know Olivia is happy to obey.

Saeyoung eases her back toward the bed. One hand automatically drifts to touch himself as he tucks his face between her thighs. 

She comes, and she’s never been more beautiful, and when he comes, she’s never been more  _ his.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <del>I'm so sorry. I have no shame, but I tried to keep it intentionally vague. *sigh*</del>


	28. Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ride [v]: (1) travel in or on (a vehicle) as a passenger. (2) (vulgar slang) have sexual intercourse with.
> 
> <del>thank you dictionary for reminding me how my mind tilts *RIP*</del>

His hands come up immediately to grasp her hips, and he adjusts her slightly above him.

“When I asked if you’d like to go for a ride,” Saeyoung muses, tone almost conversational. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“Liar,” she accuses wryly, then sinks down onto him, and the world outside his new Astin Marton vanishes into nothingness. 

Olivia kisses him softly, sweetly. The burning reverence of her touch is so much his heart nearly bursts. He kisses back, and they write a story in the fog on the windows. 

_ She loves him, _ it says.  _ He is loved. _


	29. Injured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> injured [adj]: (1) harmed, damaged, or impaired (2) offended

Even when the bleeding slows, Saeyoung still looks at her as though every second together will be their last. 

“You’re not allowed to die. I have no desire to outlive you.” 

“I’m not dying. I promise.”

He lets the cloth fall away, and she watches him dress the wound with a bandage that looks like Rob Boss’ face and reads:  _ no mistakes, just happy accidents.  _

“It’s a papercut,” Saeran interjects dryly. 

Olivia buries her face in his chest, and Saeyoung rests a comforting hand on her head. 

“She can hear you. Have some sympathy.”

Olivia snorts, and Saeyoung laughs along. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for the parodies in game so I always try to stick with it, but ANYWAY these bandaids are a REAL thing. Seriously, go [take a look](https://www.amazon.com/Gamago-Bandages-Bob-Ross-Pound/dp/B07D7Y37ND) if you don't believe me.


	30. Catch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch [n]: an act of catching something, typically a ball
> 
> catch [v]: (1) grasp or try to grasp (2) (of a person) unexpectedly find oneself in (an unwelcome situation)

The clouds grow darker. Considering Saeran was remarkably unenthused at the prospect of tossing a ball back and forth, he seems to be just as avidly pretending not to notice. 

“We should go in,” Jihyun says. “It—” 

Suddenly, it’s pouring, and everyone scrambles to get inside. 

Except for Saeyoung, that is. 

He grabs Olivia’s wrist so she cannot escape. She seems taken aback, but doesn’t fight him; she steps closer. 

The rain slides down the back of his neck, and their clothes are soaked already. 

“Happy birthday,” she says, then kisses him, and there’s one less thing Saeyoung hasn’t experienced 


	31. Ripe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ripe [adj]: fully grown and developed

Olivia’s due date comes and goes without so much as a Braxton Hicks contraction. The next day, she stops hibernating to determinedly walk all over the face of the earth. 

He follows her everywhere. 

Low blood pressure during pregnancy is normal, but given the symptoms manifest, she shouldn’t be on her feet. 

At forty-one weeks, Saeyoung is ready to die from chronic stress.

Then she has a contraction, and another, and her mouth quirks. 

It’s an easy birth. Thirty minutes. Maybe less. 

He introduces Gi to her baby brother and Saeran to his nephew. 

It is perfect.

Everything is perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey-o! I finished EARLY! 🙌 Let it be known, while I enjoyed writing these, I'll never do another "timed project" because I stress out enough over writing in general without also trying to meet some deadline. 
> 
> To all of you that read this through to the end: thank you ♥️ I know drabbles aren't incredibly popular since they’re literally just 100-words, but I think it’s good practice in being concise. Plus, I enjoy trying to capture a feeling or moment with precision <del>even if I spend 30 minutes trying to rephrase things to shave off one word and then worry about it being too vague for another 30 before finally posting</del>.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading! ♥️


End file.
